My doctors all got together in their little board room and talked about my case. A little weird to think about a bunch of people talking about you when you're not there.. Anyways, they decided getting chemotherapy would be in my best interest. In the end I could have said no, however I trust my doctors and so I decided to go with their recommendation and get chemo.
So, I have been kickin' it in Utah for awhile, and it looks like I will be using it as a semi-permanent residence. For the next 9 weeks anyway. Tomorrow I am going to a meeting where they will tell me what to expect and how to avoid the negative side effects. This meeting will be especially helpful because I have purposely not researched chemo. I researched an endometrial biopsy when I heard I had to have that procedure done... Yeah that was a bad idea. I was sort of freaking out the night before; my poor roommates helped pull me together.
I am going to be treated by Dr. Difiore, through Utah Cancer Specialists. I like him, he explains things so I can understand them and willingly answered every one of my silly questions. He told me I am the youngest person he has treated for ovarian cancer. Whoahhhh. I also really like the nurses there. She actually believed me when I told her the best place to prick me is my left hand. Most of the time the nurses tell me "Yeah, okay honey" to shush me up and then they try to get me in the arm anyway and then...epic fail of mass proportions . Then I have to try realllllly hard to not be all "I told you so homie, I'm here e'ery time they draw blood, I know a leettle something about my own body." But the nurse today did not- so she is classified as cool nurse.
I don't have a specific day set for my first round of chemo, that is still in the works. I just know that I will have three rounds, one 4-hour treatment every 3 weeks. And yes... the doctor told me to expect hair loss. We'll see if it just thins out or if I'm going to be a full on baldie.
A relative asked me what goes through my head when I think about the fact that I have cancer. To be honest, most of the time it is surreal. Most everyone knows someone else who has/had cancer. However, you never imagine it happening to you. My family doesn't really have a history of cancer in general, and then I have cancer primarily for old ladies? Say what?! It's hard to explain the feeling. A lot of people have told me I am amazing, or such a strong person etc. While a lady loves to hear compliments, I feel a little weird receiving them because I don't feel as though I deserve them. I am meeting other people who have gone through more difficult things, and probably with a little less crying than me. I'm not anything special- just a selfish, anxiety filled, awkward 20 year old (almost 21!) trying to make it through college in search of the good life.
Things that make Molly happy:]
- sleeping in- it's pretty much awesome
- Sammy - she follows me around and is pretty good company. Even if she disturbs my sleep and smells just a bit..
- Leggings- most comfortable piece of clothing ever invented
- SHOPPING! Thanks Taunie :)
- Chic-Fil-A sauce. Delicious (Don't worry Dad, I'm still eating my greens!)
- Being this awesome- its fairly effortless;)
ps... any haircut ideas?
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